my week in texts

i just realized you said i have dumbo ears! so when i'm just 'a girl' you tell me i'm gorgeous, but when i'm your girlfriend you pick apart my body and make me feel ugly? you suck. have a goodnight

honestly don't whatever me...seriously don't ever do that

i want to name my roadrage...i think i'll name her tammy

indeed nothing in all creation will ever be able to seperate us from the love of God...

and now i'm ugly, outcasted and uncomfortable

i forgot to hang up and started having a mtv moment lol

i sinned :( .... i ate a cinnabon, and i ate it sexy :(

i just wanna wish you a great day i hope you continue to smile

so im pretty sure my boss is a schizophrenic

next time i get paid we're gonna go out and chill, you work way to hard :(

wtf?

good morning...are you bringing me a muffin?

i'm scared...of hair getting ripped off my vag

what's in his mouth? are those his teeth?

if you skype me again and its not regarding a funny video or picture..im not answering

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ok, serious question...

.....is it just me or are there some women that just always look trashy...no matter what they do, they always look like they should be walking off the set of dancehall queen rockin' the skittles weave, fresh from the daggering, or walking out of a bad, very bad trailer park. with 5 kids. hollering for jimmy james' no good behind.
O_o

there is this woman at work, no matter what she wears, no matter how she does her hair, makeup or not, she always looks trashy. and she is not the first, even brittney murphy (RIP) was affected with this ailment. i absolutely loved hated her dirty, skankalicious role in 8Mile, but i realized that even after the movie wrapped she still looked like alex...my girl was in that role for life. i don't know what it is, or where it comes from, (i secretly think it's the permanent raccoon eyes), but something has to give.

something has to give or we have to find a cure for the perma-tatty syndrome.
because i'll be damned if my daughter comes out looking like she should be on 'flavor of love'
delicious my ass.

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my week in texts

'my week in texts' i loved doing this when i first started out as the kisser, and i really want to continue the trend, but this time with a spin, every sunday i will post text messages, and emails that i have recieved the previous week, i will also be including ones that i send so you can get the full affect of the randomness.

this first week will be a culmination of a few weeks, as i have some catching up to do.
enjoy :)
                             _______________________________________

nope she's white, italian. used to work with us at the other building. has a lot of piercings, looks a bit emo

                                                            i wanted to celebrate my new job, and not being with child.

hahaha, you are the biggest crack addict at life.

no, honestly i would have thrown my panties over the phone, it was that sexy.

you have been poked on facebook.

ppl like that make me want to jump through the phone and tump them up

remember how we used to eat M&M's like chocolate whores?

there is a man named 'Fong Ka Fai'…..doesn't that sound like it could be a swear word…or some random break dancer?

                                                                       don't be too nice to me, my boyfriend won't like that.

i'm not going to stay away from you...cause I really, really like you…Is just that I won't be able to do the things I would like to do due to your warning…unless you say otherwise.

yes I can truly understand the pregnant part I must admit I did shed tears this week for our circumstance but I figure I had to be a lil tuff for us both

i'm callin ya to listen to ya sleep when i get in

so what the f*** is your problem?

                                                                                                       you have been poked on facebook.

sum of my most happiest times in life were spent within u n spent with u, just the over all vibe i had wit u or b n wit u, n i miss tht which in turn means i miss u Lamoi

umm..why does that dude giggle at his jokes? he doesn't laugh...he giggles! (flannel shirt)

                                                          LOL! the way this guy's head back folds reminds me of lard.

you have been poked on facebook.

remember a str8 shot than u can mix the cuba rum, ok

i would still like to take u for dinner. u don't have to tell him if you will get in trouble.

                                                        i called u but ur sik light skinded ass didn't answer the phone.

you have been poked on facebook.

lol. u can't kick that high...i seen dem typa boots u be rockin.

so sweet ting nah sweeten yuh up 2nite?

i won't tell him if u don't. i think we need to work this out...up to u if ur willing to explore.

                                                                                                     stop falling for the craving of grease

r u trynna replace sex for sugar?



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bawdy ambition

since i have entered the world of alcohol, i can say with a surety 2 things: one...i'm not coming back and two...i want to be a master drink mixer. when i was living pre-alcohol i was mixing 'mocktails', i even had a book on it, but i grew up and got sexy (lol). this bawdy ambition literally dropped in my head one day (probably as i was sipping my favorite drink), and with every passing day, every drink i drink, and every pretty bartender i see, i am even more convinced that this is one of my callings.




bought this today at the LCBO

also, i knew when i mixed my first drink..strawberry kiwi crystal light, vodka and a wedge of lemon. tell me that isn't bawd.

this will be easier to attain once i move into my own apartment, and i can have my liquor all about the place and not hidden in my room all about the place. i was thinking of even taking a bartending course to enhance my hidden talent (all thanx to the 'lamoi'..see above drink mixture), but in the meantime i'll continue to make trips to the LCBO, experimenting, and turning to websites dedicated to drink mixing like http://www.drinksmixer.com/

and i will make it. i will be that pretty bartender i see mixing drinks, but instead i'll be in my pencil skirt, white wifebeater and heels standing behind my counter, entertaining my friends, and wowing their tastebuds...or in a white wife beater, in bed watching dexter. either way, i will evolve from mixing 'lamoi' to mixing (insert well thought of witty name here).



i'm well on my way!

btw, my favorite drink is orange cranberry and rum.

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oops, i sweated

what is it about deep voiced men that get's us women...well, sweaty?

yesterday i was at work and a broker rang my phone (shout out to james)..and let me tell you his voice was like chocolate. my man started having full conversation with me like i knew him and for a minute i thought i did, asking me what plans do i have this weekend and such...why was all i could do giggle? my grown ass woman self was giggling on the phone, and he knew at that moment that he caught me up. it was either the giggling or the shameless 'your voice is AMAZING' that gave me away. but damn him he knew...and then he proceeded to lie to me.

smh....why men, why can't you be different for ONCE?!

obviously i didn't book the lie because his sexy voice had me in a trance, i did however declare to my boss that he had me flustered on the phone. and now i have to call his barry white ass back and call him a liar.

so, i ask again, what is it about deep voiced men that get us...well, sweaty? i've never been one to have a voice fetish. sweet thing's voice is not deep, BK's voice wasn't deep. smooth's voice was kinda deep though, but then he was kinda chocloate.

i can tell you this much, broker james's voice reverbarated down in the depth of my kitty. i mean she was vibrating in my office chair. i'm thus convinced that is why deep voiced men get us....well, sweaty.

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contradiction adoration

ex. the kisser. recovering ms.rubies. i am such a contradiction.

on one hand, my mouth is foul, i think about sex alot, i talk about it even more, my humor is raunchy and morbid, and i have an attitude problem. on the other hand i am a saint, the daughter of a pastor struggling to build and maintain a relationship with God, lover of people, giver of great advice, all around good girl.

and so i had to create a place where i could be both, and be me in all my imperfect beauty, my thoughts, my opinons, and my attitude splattered over lip prints because i am strangely obsessed with lip prints (and kissing). now that i think about it, maybe i shouldn't love the contradicton that is me, that could be part of my struggle...but the little high pitched low sexy voice in my head questions me 'why can't you just be both?'

i guess we'll just have to see won't we. if i can be both. if naughty and nice can live together in perfect harmony, i mean doesn't everyone have a little naughty in them? maybe the question will evolve into 'how much naughty is too much naughty' because no one will ever tell you that you can be too nice.

the kisser meet ms.rubies.

oh! and by the way, i never write with capitals if i don't have to, that's part of my rebellion.

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