still looking for my healed days

so much to talk about. loves! i have sooo much to tell you!
i will start off with trauma. today during BOZO rehearsal, our director who is an abuse and addiction specialist was talking about a conference she attended, and one of the topics was trauma. and immediately i was brought back to when i was 6years old.

i hate that i keep going back to that age and time. and trauma, but i can't pretend like it didn't exist. like my  female family member never touched me and impressioned upon me such confusion. i try to pretend that my affections are 'righteous', but the truth is, they're not. and i'm not.

i am definitely still broken by this. but i remember and cling to the fact that God is a healer, and he's healing me, yeah it's taking a lot longer than i had anticipated, because we all expect to cry and daddy runs to our rescue and everything is instantly perfect. and all dragons are slayed. but that's not always the case and healing does take time.

so time take your time. i will try to be kind to you. i warn you though, i will have my bad days. but i look forward to my healed days.