haha, found you

i've found my insecurites again.
not being good enough. not being pretty enough. christian enough. tall enough. polished enough. not smart enough. damn i can go on and on.

not being worth it.
sigh.

i don't know why. no, i do know why. i've always been insecure, but i've learned to fake my courageous amazingness. i want to say that other's have contributed to my loud mutedness, but i don't know if that is entirely true. but deep down i know it is because no one is born with a feeling of impending worthlessness. every one is born with the ability to just BE who they are. and love that person. and i don't think i love who i am.

i'm the queen of 'fake it til you make it'. but now i'm tired and only want to hibernate til life is over.

damn. i have a lot of issues.
lol