sucks a big toe

sooo, i went to a ‘perspectives in poetry’ night, put on by a great woman and newbie poet/spoken word dabbler, and it was great. the ladies there were amazing and full of love and sincerety. i was only expecting to share a poem because she asked me to, but instead i ended up sharing a very painful experience from my childhood that still affects me to this day.

through that God really knocked it home to me that our pain is someone else’s healing, as someone approached me later in the evening to share her story of abuse.

our pain is never our own. someone needs to hear that you survived, so that they too can survive. stories need to be told.

tell your’s.

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still looking for my healed days

so much to talk about. loves! i have sooo much to tell you!
i will start off with trauma. today during BOZO rehearsal, our director who is an abuse and addiction specialist was talking about a conference she attended, and one of the topics was trauma. and immediately i was brought back to when i was 6years old.

i hate that i keep going back to that age and time. and trauma, but i can't pretend like it didn't exist. like my  female family member never touched me and impressioned upon me such confusion. i try to pretend that my affections are 'righteous', but the truth is, they're not. and i'm not.

i am definitely still broken by this. but i remember and cling to the fact that God is a healer, and he's healing me, yeah it's taking a lot longer than i had anticipated, because we all expect to cry and daddy runs to our rescue and everything is instantly perfect. and all dragons are slayed. but that's not always the case and healing does take time.

so time take your time. i will try to be kind to you. i warn you though, i will have my bad days. but i look forward to my healed days.

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