one minute writer: school

when I was in school my favorite subject was history.

now im a writer and a very proud one, writing is the air I breathe, but there is something about history, and facts and dates that get my blood racing in a way that writing can’t. I was especially obsessed with WW2, the holocaust, ancient civilizations, and mythology, and the history of words.

I love to research, which is inherently coupled with my love and past obsession with reading. I will research anything and anyone. research is an aspect of life that is fun to me, venturing into the unknown to find out a morsel of information….

*pending orgasm*

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hashtag #uppercut

I've missed blogging, oh so much! topics to blog on have been floating around my head for weeks and months, so I'm excited that my girl autumn @ms geek goddess  and i have challenged ourselves to blog once a day for the entire week. granted i missed a few days...BUT it will not damper my spirit! i will succeed! i will finish what i have started.

now, I know majority of you have seen this 'bus driver uppercuts female passenger' video that went viral a few days ago. if you haven't you can view it here. from the minute that video was mentioned everyone has been talking about it, and the opinions have been flying in all sorts of directions.

I, however haven't been throwing my opinion in the pool of ideals, because frankly im sick and tired of this newest conversation topic. why? because it has become a joke, hashtag #uppercut, it has become a phrase to demean the severity of the issue.

abuse has not now, nor ever will be funny. the shit is not funny. a younger black woman being billigerant, loud, and ignorant verbally assaulting an older black man who in return was verbally assaulting her back is not funny. when she reached out and assualted his physical being as he operated a moving vehicle, potentially causing harm to other drivers, pedestrians and those on the bus was not funny. when he got fed up, stood up and punched her in her face causing her to fall, before throwing her and her belongings off the bus, was not funny. nothing about this situation is funny, but like the people we are, we are able to find and/or create humor from every situation, especially the ones that make us uncomfotable when it reveals the true nature of our humanity.

there are so many underlying issues that are present in this situation, that no one is really touching on, and frankly if i was to touch on them all, this would be a long ass post. so i'll end it here and pick it up another day.

tell me, what was your initial impression of the video/situation, and has it changed?

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middle finger to the story, i want the happy ending

i believed this once. whole heartedly in fact. i knew he was going to break my heart, but i was being adventurous, throwing caution and sense to the wind, and i decided to continue the relationship, simply because i wanted him in my life for however long fate would allow.

and then he broke my heart. and i died a million deaths. and i have not been the same woman since. almost 2 years have passed and i am still not who i am before or during our time together, and i probably will never see that me ever again.

so i call bullshit. and loudly. i want the happy ending. screw the story, i'm only taking the journey if i know it will end up in a field of flowers, rainbows, ice cream and amazing sex. if it's not ending up there, i don't want it! *middle finger to the law*

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so what's new...

...well the most noticeable 'new' for sure is that i cut off all my hair. yep, all gone. scalp. and black fuzz.


it's one of those things i have always wanted to do, and preluding all the other changes i want to make, this was perfect as the first one. not done for fashion or vanity, it was actually vanity that was making me 2nd guess the decision to go ahead and do it, but i did it for change. i needed to be pushed out of my own human experience, i need to find my womanity apart from my own conceived beauty.

i wan(ted) to be stretched as a human, a christian, a woman, and a poet/artist.
i need(ed) to find myself vulnerable, and scared to move forward, so i could push myself forward.
above all, i need to discover me. Lamoi, pronounced like a kiss.

and i am finding myself. people ask me 'how do you feel?' and i answer truthfully from my core, 'i feel like a woman, i feel beautiful, i feel sexy, i feel...'

.....and i love when mr. wonderful rubs and massages my head, especially when i'm sleeping and in the random moments when we're watching a movie and he looks at me with love filled eyes.

this massive 'loss of self' is the beginning to finding myself. and i love her already.

peace and love.

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a crystal light and vodka to 2012

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

i hope you all had a great christmas and a well worth it celebratory new years!
we made yet.....yet we are so far, why is that?

a co-worker asked me today what my new years resolutions were, i told her i didn't believe in them. i believe that when one recognizes that change needs to be made, changes should be made... note: i am born procrastinator and i don't want to give my slackness anymore excuses to not act...now.

and i think that is partly our problem, we build up with fantastical fascination the epicness of our changes, and the change gets lost in the hoohaa

so my goal for 2012 is to act when the need to act bites me in my ass. and not to wait until 2013.

i will talk to you soon loves.
<3

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