so what's new...

...well the most noticeable 'new' for sure is that i cut off all my hair. yep, all gone. scalp. and black fuzz.


it's one of those things i have always wanted to do, and preluding all the other changes i want to make, this was perfect as the first one. not done for fashion or vanity, it was actually vanity that was making me 2nd guess the decision to go ahead and do it, but i did it for change. i needed to be pushed out of my own human experience, i need to find my womanity apart from my own conceived beauty.

i wan(ted) to be stretched as a human, a christian, a woman, and a poet/artist.
i need(ed) to find myself vulnerable, and scared to move forward, so i could push myself forward.
above all, i need to discover me. Lamoi, pronounced like a kiss.

and i am finding myself. people ask me 'how do you feel?' and i answer truthfully from my core, 'i feel like a woman, i feel beautiful, i feel sexy, i feel...'

.....and i love when mr. wonderful rubs and massages my head, especially when i'm sleeping and in the random moments when we're watching a movie and he looks at me with love filled eyes.

this massive 'loss of self' is the beginning to finding myself. and i love her already.

peace and love.

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a crystal light and vodka to 2012

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

i hope you all had a great christmas and a well worth it celebratory new years!
we made yet.....yet we are so far, why is that?

a co-worker asked me today what my new years resolutions were, i told her i didn't believe in them. i believe that when one recognizes that change needs to be made, changes should be made... note: i am born procrastinator and i don't want to give my slackness anymore excuses to not act...now.

and i think that is partly our problem, we build up with fantastical fascination the epicness of our changes, and the change gets lost in the hoohaa

so my goal for 2012 is to act when the need to act bites me in my ass. and not to wait until 2013.

i will talk to you soon loves.
<3

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